Someone recently said to me, “You really like picking at someone’s soul, don’t you?”
Ouch. I am a bugger for it though. I do it with good intent, in that I like to understand people and what sort of impact they want to make on the world, and then figure out if I can help them do that. I also sometimes forget that while I have good intentions, some people hate this, and because I’m in a position of authority people feel like they need to participate and won’t tell me to back off when I need to. From a position of authority you have to be hyper aware about what you say and how you say it, regardless of how well intended it is.
But, I do think it’s worth the risk. Allowing someone to realise their purpose unlocks answers that were hiding in the shadows created by the walls of societal expectation. What I mean by that is, it’s easy for people to be guided by what society expects, or the career ladder at work, or the industry they work in, rather than their own internal compass.
How this is important in tech
Whenever I ask developers “Why do you like doing what you do?” or “Why are you a developer?”, the answer most of the time is “I like to solve problems”. That’s a great interview answer, and you’d probably elaborate on the situations where you’ve solved a complex problem, the nuance of the type of problem (whether it’s algorithmic or visual), maybe even whether you solved it as a team or an individual. But why do you like solving problems? Does that have a connection with the problems you solve at home? Do you like solving them with other people? And the most interesting one, what are the types of problems you solve that get you into “Flow”, the ones where you completely lose your perception of time and think at the end of it “man, that felt good”.
Some people want to leave a legacy. But what kind of legacy? I worked on PCR machines with an incredibly smart human that wrote the algorithm that detected whether you had COVID or not. I also worked with a developer that wrote software on a subsea water vessel that played the Super Mario theme tune every time it dived (no one could hear but the fish). Both are pretty epic legacies, in different ways.
When you realise your values and purpose, it allows you to understand your reactions to the decisions you’ve made. When you use your values and purpose, it allows you to make decisions based on your own internal compass, and be super clear about when external forces are messing with it.
Think about the following scenarios that you may be faced with in the tech industry:
- Working with AI – you may or may not feel conflicted about whether your contribution is a positive impact on society, or is biassing an open source model data – what values are driving that?
- Industry – You may work for controversial tech giants, gambling agencies and oil & gas companies, what values are at play here? Disclaimer, no judgement here, I worked in the oil & gas industry for 14 years and I was always driven by how the creative opportunities it presented me and the fact I thought I was doing more good than harm.
- Career ladders – are you eyeing up that management position because it’s more money and it’s the only progression path you can see? If you love coding, why on earth would you want to be managing people?! (Trust me, they’re complicated). What values are driving you here?
What do I do Mike?
Well, if you made it this far, you might as well ask yourself a few questions.
What brings me Joy?
When are the moments that you lose yourself in the moment, when you completely lose track of time? When was the last time you were engaged in an activity you didn’t want to end, and what were you doing? Did either of these things happen at work? The answers to these questions are good predictors of joy, not in the ecstatic sense, but times of fulfilment and contentment. Once you know this, you can start exploring why that is and what values are driving that joy.
What are my values?
My go-to exercise when I’m coaching is this link below, and I really recommend doing the Paired Comparison Analysis at the end. I’ve seen real lightbulb moments in people when they commit time to choose which values ‘win’:
https://www.mindtools.com/a5eygum/what-are-your-values
Be super honest with yourself in this exercise. Once you have your values, think about what those values mean to you. Write it down if it helps. Think about the pros and cons of having those values. Are they the values you want? What habits do you need to form if you want to value different things?
What is my purpose?
Why do you want to solve problems, and who for? What kind of person do you want to show up as, every day? How will you take advantage of your values to help you achieve this? If I fulfil this purpose, how will that maximise the probability that I find joy on a daily basis? Make this a purpose that is relevant for all aspects of your life, and use it as your compass to guide you in decisions about work.
Check out…
“Love and Work: How to Find What You Love, Love What You Do, and Do It for the Rest of Your Life” by Marcus Buckingham – quite geared towards leadership, and pretty anecdotal, but describes beautifully how we need to find the unique things we love that make us ‘us’, and weave it through everyday life
“The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology that Fuel Success and Performance at Work” by Shawn Achor – pitched as a work book but massively useful for explaining happiness in general, has a huge body of research behind it if you’re looking for hard data
The John Maxwell Leadership Podcast – John Maxwell was a huge influence on me when I was discovering my purpose and values. Listen to this podcast if nothing else just to hear how he talks about the importance of values and how passionately he talks about his purpose. I want everyone to talk that passionately about their own!
And that’s it. If this stuff makes you bork, fine, don’t do it. If you’re a leader or mentor however, I’d strongly encourage to ask your team members whether this would be something they’d be willing to explore. You might just be the catalyst to spark a lifelong change in a human being, and for me that’s all the legacy I need.
Simian Coaching 
Leave a comment